I’d like to make a quick logical argument…. Postulate 1: Creating is terrifying. Postulate 2: Everyone creates. The logical conclusion then being that Everyone is terrified.
It’s actually not creating that’s terrifying; it’s sharing the creation, or even the thought of sharing the creation that’s terrifying. Because once your creation is in front of another person, you have lost all power. You have gone from a situation in which you have maximum amount of power over this thing that you have made, to no power. You have nothing.
That’s not true, actually. You have all of your hopes and dreams and values and aspirations in days or weeks or months or years of work that you’ve poured into this thing that you’re now sharing with the world and the world has every right to despise.
–Hank Green, We’re All Scared
So, maybe I haven’t put a ton of time into this thing yet, but let me tell you, posting the link to it was terrifying. Yesterday, I made this decision to start this, and then I did it. But then I had this problem – I had to tell people about it. I mean, I guess I didn’t have to, but, if I didn’t, what would be the point? So I posted the link, and then I ran away from the computer for awhile. I was scared people would actually click on it. I was scared that nobody would. And this is my writing. This is what I’m proud of. And it was still hard. Actually, I think that’s what made it the hardest. If you judge something I don’t care about, then I’m not really going to care if you don’t like it. But if you judge my writing – even if it’s not something I spent a huge amount of time on or tried all that much on – it’s my writing and I care about it and I care what you think. So I started thinking maybe I shouldn’t do this, because what you think scares me. And think about how few people are reading this… and I’m still scared.
Then I realized, that’s the whole point. That’s a large part of why I’m doing this. I need to share what I create, or there’s no real point in creating it. I’m doing it in spite of the fear. That fear means that it matters – to me at the very least.
“The very act of creating is courageous. Making art requires empathy and a willingness to be vulnerable and naked before the world.”
–Wil Wheaton, they make comments
“At the end of the day, if you don’t create, and if you’re not vulnerable, then you’re just a drone, in a sense. You’re not really sharing what’s special about yourself.”
So yes, creating and sharing those creations makes us vulnerable, but we have to do it anyway, because it’s what we do. And this fear I had yesterday, and will surely have today after I post this – it’s not a paralyzing fear, as so many of my fears tend to be. I mean, I wanted to quit – my instinctual reaction was a paralytic one – but it wasn’t bad enough to actually quit. I’ve been far more terrified of much more important things, and much less, and that fear has paralyzed me quite often. But I think that will be my next post.
Don’t forget to be awesome,